Playing with Adrianne.
How not to get a bottom
♠ A 9 7.........♠ J 10 5 ......bidding starts
♥ A K J 5.......♥ Q 10 6 4
♦ 4.............♦ J 9 7.......1C - 1H - 3D - 4C
♣ A J 9 8 4.....♣ K 5 2
Now 2D by me is a big hand, so 3D is a splinter agreeing hearts, but partner does not alert. Now I have to ignore this and bid as if it was alerted. I decide that as partner does not have an Ace to show, she would do this with a good hand and KQ in clubs, so I bid as I am supposed to and cue bid 4S, partner bids 5C and I bid 5H. Partner bids 6C! (thinks this is another cue obviously), I bid 6H.
All the bids are perfectly correct by by Adrianne who imagines I have a big 5-6 hand in the minors and am probably cue bidding an Ace of spades and a heart void, and of course my bids are correct as explained above!
Anyway hearts are 4-1, clubs are 4-1 with Queen offside, Adrianne played extremely well to make 10 tricks. How did we not get a bottom? Three other pairs are -200 playing in 4H!!!!!
How to get a bottom
Holding: ♠ 10 7 2 ♥ --- ♦ A K 8 7 3 2 ♣ A K 9 4
I open ID, the next hand doubles and partner bids 3D (typically about 3 points with 5 diamonds), the next opponent doubles. Now I think they have game in a major as partner is unlikely to have a defensive trick and we are probably not cashing any diamonds, so I pass, next opponent bids 3H and this is passed round to me. Still convinced they make game I don't want to push them and pass. Three hearts just makes because partner has five to the Q 10 and must make two tricks plus my AK clubs. Other tables scored better for the phantom 5Dx -1 losing 100 or for defeating higher heart contracts.
Why don't I stop trying to think and just bid my hand?