Wednesday 27th February

What a disaster. I can only once remember ever having a score in the 30’s percent, well I’ve managed it again. I suppose if you are going to play and bid badly it is best to get it over with on the one night and even better when you are both appalling.

We started with a complete a bottom after opponents are the only ones to bid 6H. I held

.........♠ Q J 8 7 6 4 2 ♥ --- ♦ Q 10 4 ♣ K Q 8

and thought I wouldn’t go for more than 800 in 6S, but does 6H make with the trump suit failing to break? I passed, 6H made, they are the only pair in it. 6S would have gone for 500, but it would still have been a bottom.

The next two boards were average, then our Nemesis arrived. Previously these two ladies had taken umbrage after recognising themselves as being described as “not the strongest pair in the club”. At the end of these three boards we were told we had been outclassed, so I’ll refer to them as the Classy Broads.

It was all our fault on the first one, partner found a small slam missing two Aces, not helped by a bid I made. Zero --- outclassed.

On the second board our opponents with 24 points between and good intermediates failed to find their 5-3 spade fit and settled in 2H making 9, much better than all those silly bidders who are in 4S going off.

On the third our pair had no problem bidding a straightforward 6H and making 13 tricks. A number of pairs didn’t seem able to manage that. Obviously not as classy as these two.

The next set is too embarrassing to mention but complete zeros of our own making.

On the first hand of the next set we garnered 3 match points out of 18 on this:
Partner opened 1NT and I raised to game. The 5C was led to the 9 and Queen. Now slipping a heart through sets up 8 tricks, but partner knows he is off as soon as East gains the lead and quite reasonably runs the 6 diamond tricks to apply some pressure. However defenders keep all they have to and we are two down. Four Souths made this contract, one made 11 tricks, missing three Aces !!! One was in a sensible 3D and two were one off.

We made a good score on this hand by being one of the few to bid 6H:

Partner opened 2C (16-18 natural), I bid 2D a game force, partner bids 2S, I asked if he had a singleton and he shows a singleton diamond. I now know he hasn't 6 clubs (or he opens 1C, so must be 4 - 3 - 1 - 5), I just bid a straight 6H. I received the AD lead which makes things easy, but this always makes with a diamond ruff (two are possible, which you need on a spade lead), a discard on a club and another discard on a long club.

However the very next board is another bottom:

Partner opens 1NT which is passed out for the obvious 2 down, the same result is recorded at only one other table. Mostly it is 2D or 3D by West, some 3C by North. Most N/S will be playing weak NT, I don’t see any obvious transfer to the 3 level with my hand, though I understand that some will, but 1 match point seems a bit hard here, but sums up our night.

Our opponents did well bidding 3NT on this hand:

East opened 1C, partner bids 2C (diamonds + a major), West bids 3C, I pass and East bids 3NT. Partner, of course, makes the natural lead of KD which blocks the suit and that’s 10 tricks for an excellent score to E/W. Most E/W score 130 in clubs. Amazingly the only N/S pair to locate the excellent spade contract get a bottom! They were in 5Sx –3. I would have thought 4S has every chance of making, only a cash of the two top hearts and then club forces to promote the 10S can beat it. If they lead the AC and you can pitch a heart on the 3rd Diamond, then exit with a heart and you must make 10.

On board 19 everyone is in 3NT by South and West has to lead from:

.....♠ 5 ♥ K Q J 5 ♦ Q J 4 3 2 ♣ Q 6 3

We got a small diamond which is won by the 10 in dummy (declarer has AKx) giving us 11 tricks and 13 of the 18 match points. The KH lead also gives 11 tricks as declarer wins the Ace and can lead twice towards dummy’s original 109xx. So 13 match points seems very generous, perhaps declarers were too lazy to try the 10D from dummy.

Anyway our opponents got their score back on the next hand by bidding a slam that few did.

On the last 6 boards we got 2 complete tops, 2 joint bottoms, one complete bottom and 1 average.
This top was because of partner’s error.

The 1D opener was passed round to me and I bid 1NT, partner used Stayman and then bid 3NT (he thought I was strong instead of protective).
A diamond was led to my 10, I knocked out Ace clubs and got a spade through to my K and East’s Ace. East follows with JS to my Queen, I finess a diamond, play a heart to my Queen which is ducked(?). I continue hearts and declarer wins the Ace, cashes 10S and I claim. 3 diamonds, 1 heart, 3 clubs and 2 spades.

I misdefend on the next board, our opponents bid sensibly on the next, both joint bottoms for us.
Our second top of the night was on this hand where I get pushed into 4S:

East’s partner had bid hearts and so she led the Ace and continued. I win, cash Ace & King of trumps and run the clubs. Very lucky as the defender with 4 clubs has the last trump, so I got rid of the heart and a diamond to make the contract.

The zero came from the next hand doubling 5C and failing to cash a trick for 1 off.

If we had put it one off we would have got a top, but I think ending bottom of the North/Souths was the right result for us. Back to the drawing board.